


Lesson Learned

by Bizarra



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Random Alien Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: After an alien attack Chakotay is seriously injured.





	Lesson Learned

Kathryn reached forward with a shaky hand. The surrounding bridge was in shambles. Wires were sparking and smoke was rising from heavily damaged consoles. She could hear coughs and groans of pain. There was something dripping down her nose. She was sure it was blood, but that wasn’t important to her at the moment. She was more concerned with the man who lay at an awkward angle in front of her. Her trembling fingers touched his neck, feeling for the pulse she prayed was there.

His lower body was trapped beneath a large chunk of the helm console. He’d been sitting there while Tom was in sickbay helping the Doctor with the casualties that had already been coming in from this senseless attack. She choked back a relieved cry when she felt a faint pulse. She scooted closer. “Chakotay…” She whispered urgently. “Please hang on until we can get you to sickbay.”

She inched to where he was, dragging her own broken body behind her. She knew she should feel intense pain from the leg injury alone, but she felt nothing. That probably should have concerned her, but it didn’t. Not when her first officer was possibly dying. She reached the edge of the lower helm deck and turned to ease herself down the small drop. She needed to see to assess Chakotay’s injuries.

He had been thrown back against the edge angled in a way that he appeared to be nearly sitting. His head and neck were bent and lay on the command deck. From the looks of it, his back was broken. She gently lay a hand on his chest. She could feel a heartbeat. Faint, but present. She could see that his breathing was shallow and uneven. There was a trickle of blood oozing from the slightly open mouth. “I will get you help,” she told him gently.

Kathryn tapped her combadge. “Bridge to sickbay. We’ve got medical emergencies.”

There was no response. She hadn’t expected it. She could only hope the Doctor was still online and that he was sending anyone he could their way.

The attack had come suddenly and without provocation. She had no idea who the aliens were, but they’d appeared, accused _Voyager_ of destroying one of their cities from orbit and started shooting. What had stopped them before _Voyager _ had been destroyed, Kathryn would never know. But she was grateful they’d stopped. Her ship couldn’t have taken much more. As it was, she hadn’t heard from engineering and hoped that the warp core was still stable.____

_ _ _ _Kathryn’s attention snapped back to the present when she heard a pain-filled moan in front of her. She leaned forward, “Chakotay,” she pressed lightly on his chest. “Don’t move. I think your back is broken.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His words were faint. “I think my… everything,” he gave a laugh-like huff, “is broken.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The doctor is coming,” she told him hoping it wasn’t a lie._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He slowly pushed an unsteady hand along the floor toward her, wincing with pain. “You... okay?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She wrapped her fingers around his, hoping their combined strength would be enough. “I don’t know. I know my leg is broken, but I can’t feel anything below my waist.” She reached with her free hand and followed the trail of wet along her nose to her forehead and found a large open gash. What had hit her? She didn’t remember. Again, that should probably concern her. Again, it didn’t._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Chakotay,” she leaned as close as she felt she could without injuring him further. She lay her head on the deck, inches from his. Close enough to feel his faint breaths. “I don’t think we’re going to…” she closed her eyes to tears that threatened. “You were always the... home I was reaching for.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, not caring that they were wet from his blood-mixed saliva. “I wanted you to know that.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Kathryn,” he groaned, his voice wheezing with each painful intake of breath, “me too. Love... you.” His body slacked as he lost consciousness._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn pressed her head against his and gave in to the tears. “I love you, too,” she whispered as she tightened her grip on his hand. “Please don’t leave me.” She closed her eyes then and let herself drift into the blessed oblivion._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _-_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Whatever it was moving around in her darkness; it was annoying. She felt her consciousness moving toward it like a moth drawn to a flame. As it grew closer, she began to feel. To think. Her thoughts were cloudy, muddled, but there. She concentrated on bringing the murk into focus. Ship. _Voyager._ Friends. Explosions. Blood. Terror. Pain. No, the lack of it. Chakotay. Oh, God, Chakotay. He was dead. She was dead. Wasn’t she? Wait, if she was dead, why could she remember? The surface of a deep calm broke and Kathryn slowly opened her eyes._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Brightness. She quickly closed her eyes. Where was she? She heard someone order the light down and then eased her eyes open again. Sickbay. She was in sickbay. God, she was alive! How was she alive? Her eyes opened wider, and she looked around. The surroundings were familiar. _Voyager._ She leaned up, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulders, lightly pressing down._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Captain. Please don’t move,” Tom Paris was saying as his face moved into her vision. “Your back is still mending.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Back?” she asked. Her voice cracked from disuse and sounded much deeper than usual._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Paris nodded. “Yes, Captain. Your back was strained when you were thrown from the Ops station and into the railing.” Her pilot leaned closer, “Ayala said the force of your hitting the railing flipped you over it. You bounced off the console between the two command chairs and hit the deck pretty hard.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She winced. “Explains,” she rasped, “no feeling.” She reached for the young man’s hand and tightly held it. “Chakotay. Tom, please tell me.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Hang on, I’ll get Doc.” He started to move away, but she refused to let go._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Tell me!” she sternly growled. “…'at's an order!” She softened. “I need to know.” She blinked away the rushing emotion. “Dead or alive?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tom leaned closer and gave her hand a gentle understanding squeeze. “He’s alive, Captain. Not quite out of the woods, but alive.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She couldn’t stop the relieved sob if she’d wanted to. “Thank you,”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Tom smiled and gave her hand a pat before dropping it. “Let me get the Doc. He can explain Chakotay’s injuries better than I can.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn closed her eyes tightly and forcefully reigned in her emotions. While she waited for her CMO, she glanced around. Each bed was occupied with wounded. The Doc had even had to add more beds to accommodate them all._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She turned her head to the opposite side and realized that Chakotay lay next to her. He was still unconscious, the diagnostic arch was over his torso and he was braced so he couldn’t move. His skin was still ashen, but he looked better than he had the last time she’d seen him. How long ago had that been?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She felt a movement at her left side and turned toward it. She found the doctor standing over her, waving the wand from the medical tricorder around her head. “Doc.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It’s good to see you awake, Captain.” The hologram grimly told her. He began to pass the tool over the rest of her body. “Your back is still mending. I don’t want you to move too much. I’ve reset and stitched the bones back together in your right leg. I have healed the cuts on your face and hands.” The balding man finished the scan and looked at the data then hemmed. “You should recover with no lasting effects. Perhaps an odd backache here and there, but there should be no long-term problems.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What about Chakotay?” She asked, honestly not caring about her own injuries. “Will he be okay?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The man moved to the opposite side, between the two of them. “I’ve healed what I could. He had external burns, severe internal injuries; the impact broke his back in two places.” He hesitated. “There is a possibility of paralysis from the waist down. I’m doing the best I can to heal his spinal cord to prevent that.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn’s breath caught at the prognosis and moved her gaze to Chakotay. How would he take that possibility? Whatever it was, she knew that she would be there with him every step of the way._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thank you for telling me.” Her eyes met the concerned look of the Doctor’s. “Anything he needs or wants, do it.” When the EMH nodded, she relaxed. “Who is in command?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Commander Tuvok,” Doc told her. “He asked that I let him know when you were awake.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thank you. Please tell him to come down here. I’d like an update.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His gaze turned stern. “Captain…”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She furrowed her brows. “Yes. I am still the Captain and I need to know what is happening with my ship. When can I get out of here?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He sighed. “Just as long as you don’t do any work and depending on how your own back heals, I can let you leave the day after tomorrow.” She started to protest, but he lifted a finger. “And not a moment sooner.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She lay back and sighed. She turned her head again and watched Chakotay. He was still alive. She would get him through any other difficulty, but it didn’t change the fact that she was thankful he still lived._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She remembered their assumed-deathbed confessions. Did she regret telling him? No, honestly she didn’t. And once they were both fully healthy and back on duty, this time, she wouldn’t go back on her word. The thought of losing him terrified her. From now on they would be honest with each other. Death had proven that it could come suddenly and unexpectedly. She would no longer waste any of their precious time together. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Lesson learned, universe. Lesson learned._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _-_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Five days later, Kathryn walked back into Sickbay, feeling optimistic. The doctor intended to remove Chakotay from the confines of the traction unit. They would see how well his back had healed and whether he would be paralyzed._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She made her way to his bed and smiled as he watched her approach. She leaned close and lay a gentle hand aside his face. “Hi.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He closed his eyes and turned away. “I don’t need you here, Captain.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She sighed at his formality. Chakotay had been keeping her at arm's length since he’d woken up. She knew what he was trying to do and refused to let him. “I’m not here as the captain, Chakotay. I’m here as Kathryn.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I don’t want Kathryn here either.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She brushed an errant hair off his forehead. “That’s too bad. Because she’s here for good and isn’t leaving you again.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He turned to her, a light glinted in his eye that he quickly blinked away. “Why now?” He asked with a heavy voice. “I won’t be your pet project, Kathryn.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She gave him an irritated look. “Because it took the slap in the face of nearly losing you to make me realize that I can’t live without you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That’s funny,” Chakotay said with no small amount of annoyance. “I felt the same way after that damned shuttle crash and… you still pushed me away. So, my feelings are only important when it’s convenient for you?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m so sorry.” She leaned close, “I wasn’t ready then. I know that’s selfish.” She pressed a kiss on his forehead. “But, I am ready now and I promise I will never leave you again.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Even if I’m only half a man?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You could never be only half a man to me.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He groaned and turned away. “We’ll see.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The Doctor stepped over to them. “Are you ready?” He asked his patient._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Might as well get this over with.” Chakotay told his physician. “I’m sure Tuvok is champing at the bit for my job.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“We will get you through this, Chakotay.” She drifted the back of her hand over his cheek. “No matter what the result is. I’m not losing my first officer like this.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The EMH moved to the arch and retracted it. Once the sides were fully down, he tapped a button and released the shield that held the man immobile to the bed. “Let me scan you.” The doctor smiled at the results. “I’ve healed your back. There’s still considerable swelling along your spinal cord. Try to move your feet.” He waited a moment. “It may feel odd or hurt at first, but that’s because you haven’t been able to move in a while.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn watched as Chakotay concentrated on moving his legs and feet. When she saw a slight movement in his toes, she expelled the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “You did it!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Excellent, Commander!” The doctor said with a smile. “Try moving your ankles now.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn took Chakotay’s hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. “You can do this too,” she told him as she lay her free hand on his upper chest._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He visibly cringed, but could slightly move both ankles. Kathryn lowered and kissed him squarely on the lips. “Good!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He gave her an empty smile. “I’m not walking, yet.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The Doctor cut in at that point. “How do your legs feel?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Heavy. Odd.” Chakotay responded. “Almost like they’re numb.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The EMH nodded. “When you moved them, how did it feel? Tingly? Like you’ve slept on an arm and the blood flow is returning?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chakotay nodded, “yes. That’s a good way to explain it.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The Doctor smiled. “That means that you will likely regain the feeling in your legs once the swelling goes down.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“How long could that take?” Kathryn asked._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It could take a week, or it could take longer.” The EMH explained. “The damage to your spinal cord, Commander, was serious. I was able to repair it surgically, but the swelling is part of the healing that your own body will have to do.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“So I’ll be able to walk?” Chakotay asked. “I’m not paralyzed?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The Doctor shook his head. “Not permanently paralyzed, no. But you may need to relearn to walk, due to the injury.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _-_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Chakotay reached a shaky hand to Kathryn. She stood at the end of their agreed upon distance and encouraged him gently. “You’re nearly there.” It had been nearly a month since Doc had released him from sickbay. Two weeks since he regained most of the feeling in his legs. Now, they were in the holodeck working on his walking. He still needed a hover chair for long distances, but the goal was to ease into two canes, then one, then none._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His fingertips touched hers and she smiled. One more slow step and their fingers entwined. “You’ve reached me,” she said as she wrapped her other arm around him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Have I?” he asked with a serious note._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She nodded. “Yes. You have.” She lifted onto the balls of her feet so he wouldn’t have to bend and pressed her lips to his. Chakotay’s mouth opened to hers and she deepened the kiss. He dropped her hand, and she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her tightly to his body. Her arms wound around his neck and she settled against him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The next thing she knew he dropped from her embrace and she fell over him. “Oh!” she yelped in surprise, then moved quickly off him. “Are you okay?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He nodded with a grin. “Yes. You just knocked me off my feet.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She laughed, which started him laughing and soon they were in each other’s arms tears from their laughter inching down their cheeks. They were reveling in the joy of being alive, in his healing, and finally being free to express their love._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _-_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Kathryn I don’t need help!” Chakotay snapped at her when she’d reached for him after he stumbled and fell._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She sighed and stood over him with her hands on her hips. “I’m not implying that you do, Chakotay! I was just trying to help you up off the floor.” She snapped, “had I fallen you’d offer an arm to me! That’s all it was.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She knew and understood his frustration. His walking was improving, but he was a lot clumsier than before and stumbled frequently. He had just lost his balance and dropped their dinner._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Some days I feel useless to you.” He glanced at her as she crouched to his level. “I wanted this to be a nice romantic evening.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She smiled and moved to pick up the dishes and clean the mess. “Stay there. I’ll be back in a second.” She recycled the plates, then retrieved another two helpings of pasta primavera that he’d made. Thankfully, Chakotay usually cooked enough for leftovers._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She took them back to the floor he still sat on and handed both dishes to him. She returned to the table for the red wine and glasses, then sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him. “We’ll just have a picnic.” She poured him a glass of wine and set it next to his plate._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Are you comfortable?” She asked. When he nodded, she moved around next to him and leaned against his shoulder. “This way, I can sit next to you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m not feeding you spaghetti,” he snickered._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What, no _Lady and the Tramp_?” She said, taking a mock offense._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She laughed and picked up her wine glass. Tapping their glasses together, she drank generously and sighed. “I should have done this years ago.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The time wasn’t right, Kathryn,” he softly told her. “I’m not sure it is now, to be honest.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She propped her chin on his shoulder. “If we had waited for the ‘right time’, Chakotay, we’d have been waiting forever.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m still afraid you’re only here out of some sense of misplaced compassion and once I’m fully healed, you’ll retreat back behind your protocol and parameters,” he told her with hesitation in his voice._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She set down her wineglass and turned to him. “Chakotay, I promise you I am with you fully. I love you.” She moved his dinner plate and wine, then draped herself over his lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and met his eyes. “I loved you just as much before the attack as I do now. The only difference is that I learned that we don’t have plenty of time. We only have now.” She glanced briefly at his lips, then back to his eyes. “I intend to love you now.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “I don’t want to have regrets later.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thank you, Kathryn.” He closed her tightly in his embrace and kissed her eagerly. Chakotay’s lips moved to her neck and he whispered, “I want to make love to you, now that I can.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _A rush of joy moved through her as she nodded and moved from his lap. She helped him up and together they quickly cleaned up the remains of their dinner. Their chore completed, Kathryn smiled and took his hand. She tapped her combadge. “Janeway to Tuvok.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Tuvok here, Captain._ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Commander, I am routing all bridge calls to you until 0900 tomorrow morning. Unless it’s a red alert, I don’t want to be interrupted.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _Understood, Captain. Have a pleasant evening. Tuvok out._ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Kathryn gave Chakotay a suggestive smile. “Oh, I intend to have a very pleasant evening.” She tucked into his side and wrapped an arm around him. Together they walked into the bedroom._ _ _ _


End file.
